My 29M wife 28F lied to me about who the father was when telling me about her abortion.

I 29M find myself at a crossroads in my marriage with a situation that has unearthed layers of complexity and left me questioning trust and honesty in our marriage. I reach out here with hopes of seeing it from another angle. When my wife 28F and I began our relationship, she shared with me during her late teens she had an abortion and that the dad was "Mark." her 2nd relationship. I admired her honesty and appreciated the openness and it was not a big deal or a dealbreaker for me. However, recently I found out the actual father is "John," the son of a close family friend on her side. I don't like him and you will see why later on. What troubles me now knowing this is John's presence in our lives—he is a familiar face at family gatherings and events. He is always around - even today we were grilling at her uncle's place and he was present with his family. And it's not even gatherings or events, in our culture it is quite common to drop by at your relatives house so i run into him at my in-laws at random times too. Complicating matters,when she went to visit home halfway into our relationship John attempted to persuade my then girlfriend to end our relationship and reignite theirs. She actually became distant during that trip and when she came back after ending her trip I confronted her about it. That was the first time I heard that John and her had a past relationship. For me I always thought of him as someone she grew up with. I explained that this guy knows me, has met me at her family's house, has seen how good we are together and that by telling her this kind of stuff has shown her that he has no respect for her or her relationship. She agreed and told me I don't need to worry about it. Why i don't like the guy. I haven't brought this up with my wife yet. Honestly, I'm not sure how to go about it. Any advice on navigating this mess? I figured throwing it out here might help me see things from different angles. Here is where I am mentally - why would you give me half truth? ? After hearing he tried to break us up I have been clear about boundaries but now do I set even strickter ones? And part of me also thinks we should really reconsider the marriage altogether? because I would not have been made aware of this fact had we not moved back home (it was unplanned) Thanks in advance for any insights. PS apologies for any grammar or typos - english isn't my 1st language so had to use chatgpt to help me out. ​ TL;DR: wife lied about who the father was in her abortion case. Turns out it's the son of a close family friend, who is always around in our lives and tried to break us up a while back. submitted by /u/Complete-Sleep-5961 [link] [comments]

I 29M find myself at a crossroads in my marriage with a situation that has unearthed layers of complexity and left me questioning trust and honesty in our marriage. I reach out here with hopes of seeing it from another angle.

When my wife 28F and I began our relationship, she shared with me during her late teens she had an abortion and that the dad was "Mark." her 2nd relationship. I admired her honesty and appreciated the openness and it was not a big deal or a dealbreaker for me.

However, recently I found out the actual father is "John," the son of a close family friend on her side. I don't like him and you will see why later on.

What troubles me now knowing this is John's presence in our lives—he is a familiar face at family gatherings and events. He is always around - even today we were grilling at her uncle's place and he was present with his family. And it's not even gatherings or events, in our culture it is quite common to drop by at your relatives house so i run into him at my in-laws at random times too.

Complicating matters,when she went to visit home halfway into our relationship John attempted to persuade my then girlfriend to end our relationship and reignite theirs.

She actually became distant during that trip and when she came back after ending her trip I confronted her about it. That was the first time I heard that John and her had a past relationship. For me I always thought of him as someone she grew up with.

I explained that this guy knows me, has met me at her family's house, has seen how good we are together and that by telling her this kind of stuff has shown her that he has no respect for her or her relationship. She agreed and told me I don't need to worry about it. Why i don't like the guy.

I haven't brought this up with my wife yet. Honestly, I'm not sure how to go about it. Any advice on navigating this mess? I figured throwing it out here might help me see things from different angles.

Here is where I am mentally - why would you give me half truth? ? After hearing he tried to break us up I have been clear about boundaries but now do I set even strickter ones? And part of me also thinks we should really reconsider the marriage altogether? because I would not have been made aware of this fact had we not moved back home (it was unplanned)

Thanks in advance for any insights.

PS apologies for any grammar or typos - english isn't my 1st language so had to use chatgpt to help me out.

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TL;DR: wife lied about who the father was in her abortion case. Turns out it's the son of a close family friend, who is always around in our lives and tried to break us up a while back.

submitted by /u/Complete-Sleep-5961
[link] [comments]